Essentially, I’d like a Trader Joe’s Associate to take me by the hand (metaphorically of course…unless it’s Sheryl at the Woodland Hills store, then literally) and with her I want to buy every single item in the Fearless Flyer. Every. Single. One.

Sheryl and I could start in produce. Or wines. Or cheeses. Wherever she wants to take me to first.

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Then I’d cook meals each day with the ingredients I’d purchased…I’d have my appetizer special with my wine special, and soon I’d be snoozing in an afternoon nap.

I’d live a TJ’s life, and relieve myself of any thinking responsibility as regards my ingestion. And when the next Flyer comes out, I’ll do it all over again.

Could I live that way for the rest of my life? Boy, I’m tempted to try.

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This month’s Flyer is October, which means everything is pumpkin. From tortilla chips to salsa to KBC Pumpkin Ale, which suggests an appetizer right there…chips, salsa and beer. One of my favorites.

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Even Italian pasta goes pumpkin. Autumnal Harvest Pasta Sauce.

And that got me to thinking…Trader Joe’s as your dietary calendar. The organizer of your digestive year.

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Seasonal specialties, like corned beer for St. Patty’s Day. National Holiday meals like Thanksgiving and turkey. Patriotic riffs like July 4th hot dogs and potato salad. Romantic Valentine’s Day specials, chocolates in every variety.

A gustatory guideline to organize your time here on Earth.

And that got me to thinking further…about how our lives are shared so closely and in so many ways that we hardly recognize it anymore.

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We live so close together, not just in neighborhoods, gated or otherwise, but in apartment buildings with shared walls, stairwells, and sewer systems. We watch the same TV shows and movies (How many of you saw The Martian this weekend or sat together watching the season restart of Homeland? A gazillion of us.)

We gulp down the same news, same clothing styles, laugh at the same jokes or gasp at the latest horror stories from this week’s Middle East mayhem. Dude, we even be talking the same rap when we cop an attitude.

And that’s okay. Isn’t it? Or is it?

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When I was a kid, I read that Daniel Boone (Fess Parker of course, no substitute will do) was horrified with just how many people lived in his ‘neck of the woods.’ He felt hemmed in, too civilized by the trappings of the growing country. Keep in mind that Boone was a man who died in 1820!

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So he headed out for the hinterlands of the Blue Ridge Mountains. He wanted to build a log cabin, and here’s the key line from his journals that I remember, “so I cannot see the smoke of another chimney.”

Just think how far away that would be from another human being (even an Indian, whom Boone killed his fair share of). Twenty miles? A hundred miles?

Far. Farther than Trader Joe’s is from my house, only two miles away. Heck, I can reach out and touch my neighbor’s fence with my other hand still on my bedroom wall.

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So maybe news of liquid water found on Mars is really good news. You heard about it, right? Sure you did. NASA has found salt water flowing on the planet Mars.

That’s a pretty big deal. Almost Garden of Eden worthy. And not just because life on Mars is now much more likely, which is a damn big deal, especially for the Evangelicals who think God made us the only creatures in this universe.

It’s a big deal because water is made up of Oxygen and Hydrogen, which means¬† pioneers to Mars will be able to split the water molecule to make air! Not to mention that they can desalinate the water and make…drinking water and planting water, and soon even flush toilets!

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And that of course means that the Daniel Boones still among us (Matt Damon for instance) will have a new place to go to build a log cabin from which he won’t be able to see the smoke of another living person, presuming, that is, that smoke reveals itself in the same way in the Martian atmosphere.

I’m pretty sure it does. I’m not worried about that.

You want to know what does worry me…?

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Yep, how long before they build a Trader Joe’s nearby and send out the Fearless Flyer?

 

 

2 Responses to My Fearless Flyer Life – On Mars

  1. Susanne Ziegler says:

    As usual – great writing!

    Send or take a copy to TJ’s.

    Now to go shopping – at TJ’s.

    Susanne (Tim)

  2. Virginia says:

    I saw that flyer and felt the same way! The fall season is always the most tempting for great foods. Thanks for your take on this everyday kind of thing. a fun read…
    Virginia

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